


Episode Six: "I Don't Know How To Talk About This."

by iriswrites



Series: Skam Boston: Season 2 [7]
Category: Original Work, SKAM (Norway), SKAM (TV) RPF
Genre: Gen, Multi, ceo of writing rooftop scenes before druck, discussion of mental illness from someone who has experience with said mental illnesses, if y'all saw my tumblr post about halloween costumes IT WAS ALL PLANNED, skam 2x06, so do with that what you will, sunshine babies, they're dropping heart emojis left and right i'm crying, y'all thought i was writing william? NO I WAS WRITING JOSH!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 07:22:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27179857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iriswrites/pseuds/iriswrites
Summary: Rubina Patil’s already made a plan for the next two years: work her way into the running for valedictorian, get into Barnard on the pre~med track, and get the hell out of Massachusetts. Yeah, she’s constantly stressed out, and counting calories is the only thing that keeps her in control of her life, but it doesn’t matter. When she gets these three things, she can relax. Until then, she’ll just keep on working.Elias Rivera is not a part of this plan. Ruby shouldn't even be thinking about him. He's just another worry on her brain, but no matter how hard she tries, she can't get him off of her mind.Control. That's what Ruby will get. She'll stop at nothing to achieve that.Too bad her body's got other plans.
Relationships: Rubina "Ruby" Patil/Elias Rivera
Series: Skam Boston: Season 2 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1879771
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	1. Girlfriend/Boyfriend

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 24, 7:27 A.M.

EXT. ROOFTOP

 _Pluto Projector_ by Rex Orange County plays quietly as the camera pans onto RUBY and ELIAS, lying flat on their backs in opposite directions on a rooftop.

ELIAS:  
I might fall asleep.

RUBY:  
Really?

ELIAS:  
Mhm...

He closes his eyes for a second before opening them again.

ELIAS:  
No, I'm good.

RUBY laughs.

RUBY:  
How?

ELIAS:  
Power nap.

RUBY:  
You blinked.

ELIAS:  
Same thing.

He squints up at the sky.

ELIAS:  
It wasn't as good as I was hoping it'd be.

RUBY looks up. The sky is golden, illuminating both of their faces. She frowns.

RUBY:  
It's perfect.

ELIAS:  
I've got better photos. I can show you some.

RUBY:  
No, take a picture.

ELIAS:  
Fine, but you've gotta be in it.

RUBY:  
Fine.

They both sit up. ELIAS takes a disposable camera off of the ground and holds it up. RUBY smiles, the sun bright behind her, and ELIAS snaps a picture. He smiles as he brings the camera down, sliding it into a bag.

RUBY:  
You're gonna have to give me that when it's developed.

ELIAS:  
Mmm, no. I wanna keep it.

RUBY:  
Yeah?

ELIAS:  
Yeah. Maybe I'll put it up on my wall.

RUBY stretches her legs out. 

RUBY:  
Your wall.

ELIAS:  
Mhmm. Everyone else has pictures of their girlfriends in their rooms.

RUBY raises her eyebrows.

RUBY:  
Girlfriend.

ELIAS:  
Fuck, I didn't mean...

He trails off, uncomfortable.

ELIAS:  
I probably shouldn't have assumed that.

RUBY smiles, leaning forward and resting her elbows on her knees.

RUBY:  
I didn't kiss you for no reason.

ELIAS presses his lips together, smiling.

ELIAS:  
So. Girlfriend.

RUBY:  
Boyfriend.

ELIAS:  
Sounds good to me.

RUBY:  
Even if it's a secret?

ELIAS:  
Well, it's just for now, isn't it?

RUBY:  
Yeah, I hope. Just until I can figure out how to tell everyone.

ELIAS:  
It's kind of cool, you know? Like a weird _Much Ado About Nothing_ and _Romeo and Juliet_ crossover.

RUBY:  
Don't tell me you like Shakespeare.

ELIAS:  
God, no. I hate that shit. I don't even know what the plot is half the time, SparkNotes literally saved my life during Othello last year~~

RUBY has already leaned forward and kissed him before he can finish his sentence. He smiles. It's sweet. When she breaks away, she's holding his face in her hands.

RUBY:  
You're a nerd.

ELIAS:  
You love it.

RUBY:  
Mmm, maybe.

CUT TO: about ten minutes later. RUBY is on her back again, ELIAS lying on his stomach as he checks his phone.

RUBY:  
Your brother doesn't know where you are?

ELIAS:  
I don't know where he is.

RUBY:  
Well, he's the adult, isn't he?

ELIAS:  
He doesn't care, it's fine.

As if on cue, ELIAS'S phone rings. He frowns at the phone.

RUBY:  
Is that him?

ELIAS holds out the phone to her, showing the name "sebastian" lit up on the screen. 

RUBY:  
Sounds like he might.

ELIAS shakes his head, declining the call. RUBY raises her eyebrows.

RUBY:  
You're just not gonna pick up?

ELIAS:  
He just wants to know that I'm alive. If I'm still breathing enough to be able to not pick up his call then he'll be okay with it.

RUBY:  
Seriously?

ELIAS:  
...yeah?

He puts the phone away before sitting up.

ELIAS:  
What about your parents?

RUBY:  
They think that I'm at Juliet's house. And if they're worried enough to call her, she's too hungover to pick up, and even if she wasn't she'd lie for me. And I've got my location services off, which I can probably explain as a phone issue.

ELIAS stares at her for a moment.

ELIAS:  
You have to do all that?

RUBY:  
All what?

ELIAS:  
I don't know. Get your friends to cover for you. Turn your location services off.

RUBY:  
I mean, my parents are kind of paranoid, but even if they weren't they'd freak out if I didn't tell them where I was for the night.

ELIAS shrugs. RUBY looks mildly confused.

RUBY:  
Your parents just don't care?

ELIAS:  
My dad lives in New York, remember?

RUBY:  
But your mom?

ELIAS shakes his head. RUBY rolls over onto her side and reaches out, grabbing his fingers.

RUBY:  
You okay?

ELIAS:  
Mhmm, just...

He takes a moment.

ELIAS:  
Sometimes it's just too loud up here. Like... _Winter Wind_ in my head or something.

RUBY frowns.

RUBY:  
Like the song?

ELIAS:  
Hm?

RUBY:  
The song? Chopin? That's what it's like?

ELIAS smiles, nodding. RUBY fully cackles.

RUBY:  
You are _such_ a nerd!

ELIAS doesn't say anything for a moment, just thinking. His smile widens.

ELIAS:  
How do you always know what I mean?

RUBY:  
It's the AP Lit in me. I'm good at subtext.

ELIAS:  
And I'm the nerd?

RUBY moves over slightly, resting her head on his thigh. His hand drops to her hair, twisting a strand between his fingers.

RUBY:  
Absolutely.

They sit in silence for a moment. 

ELIAS:  
You should probably go home.

RUBY:  
I don't want to.

ELIAS smiles.

ELIAS:  
Okay.

RUBY:  
Okay.

They stay in that position as the camera moves away, panning towards the sunrise.


	2. We Know Better

MONDAY, OCTOBER 26, 11:05 P.M.

EXT. TRACK

The girls, all dressed in shorts and t~shirts, are jogging around the track together. GRACIELA and HOLLY look like they're having a hard time, JULIET and KARIMA are jogging alongside each other, and RUBY is in the front of them, completely focused. 

The camera goes into her line of sight, and slowly the camera goes blurrier and blurrier, almost completely out of focus until a sharp whistle snaps the camera back to normal.

COACH:  
Five minute break!

GRACIELA collapses right onto the track, JULIET right behind her. HOLLY bends over at the waist, wheezing.

HOLLY:  
_What...the...fuck..._

RUBY smiles, shaking her head.

RUBY:  
It wasn't _that_ bad...

GRACIELA:  
What, you exercise for _fun?_

RUBY:  
...sometimes?

GRACIELA:  
You're a monster.

HOLLY gives RUBY a strange look, which RUBY chooses to ignore.

JULIET:  
Did anyone hear about Julian?

KARIMA:  
Did he get himself beat up _again?_

JULIET:  
Uh huh. It's all over Instagram. He had some backup this time, I think.

GRACIELA:  
Really? Who?

JULIET:  
I don't know...Sawyer what's~his~face, I think, and maybe Oliver?

HOLLY:  
Who the hell is Oliver?

JULIET:  
Football kid, looks like a Neanderthal, a disgrace to redheads all around... 

KARIMA:  
Big words coming from someone whose dad brought them to, like, _ten_ Patriots games as a kid.

JULIET:  
Not you thinking that I associate with that man.

She turns to GRACIELA.

JULIET:  
You know, Elias didn't show up again. 

GRACIELA:  
Yeah, I figured that he wouldn't.

JULIET:  
Why?

GRACIELA:  
Because he doesn't wanna get himself arrested.

HOLLY:  
Why would he get arrested? Julian hasn't, and none of those Brockton kids have either.

KARIMA:  
Because he's brown and we know better.

GRACIELA makes a face as if to say "she's right". RUBY stays quiet, only taking her phone out of her phone pocket. She pulls up her messages with ELIAS and types "if you get involved with julian's shit i'm gonna kick your ass".

He texts her back immediately, saying "only if things get really bad". RUBY frowns, texting back "bad how?". ELIAS responds with "just if they try to get someone who isn't really involved". He follows up with a "i won't do anything stupid promise". RUBY smiles at that, sending him pink hearts before turning.

GRACIELA:  
Who are you texting?

RUBY:  
No one.

GRACIELA:  
Right. No one.

She wiggles her eyebrows.

GRACIELA:  
Is it~~

RUBY:  
No!

HOLLY:  
Oh my god, _who?_

GRACIELA:  
Ruby's got a crush.

RUBY:  
I do _not!_

GRACIELA:  
Mhmm, but she hasn't figured it out yet. So we'll find out when she does.

RUBY:  
Graciela!

GRACIELA:  
Unless you did?

The girls stare at RUBY expectantly, but she barely has time to open her mouth before the whistle blows again. HOLLY groans.

HOLLY:  
I'm not going.

KARIMA:  
Yes, you are.

HOLLY:  
No. Leave me here to die.

JULIET:  
Your GPA will go down if you fail this class.

A beat.

HOLLY:  
Fuck.

JULIET:  
Yeah.

She stands up, pulling HOLLY up with her, and starts jogging away. KARIMA runs after them. GRACIELA stays behind, giving RUBY weird looks.

RUBY:  
What?

GRACIELA:  
Nothing. Just...

She thinks for a moment before shaking her head.

GRACIELA:  
Never mind. Come on.

GRACIELA runs ahead. RUBY runs up to join her and the camera pans onto her face, which is contemplative, thinking about what she's supposed to say next.


	3. Diet Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for talking about weight and some mental health things!! it's not a lot but it's there

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 28, 3:34 P.M.

INT. LIVING ROOM

 _Sober_ by Aquilo plays as RUBY opens the front door and enters her living room, smiling at her phone.

Text bubbles appear above her head, showing two from ELIAS saying "i still have to study for the bio quiz" and then "haven't even looked at the study guide yet". She smiles, rolling her eyes, and texts back "it looks hard you better study". ELIAS texts back "but i don't want to study i just want to talk to you".

Her smile widens, blushing slightly. She types back "we can study together then" and instantly gets back "call me at like ten" with a heart emoji. She sends one back before dropping her bag onto the ground and heading towards the couch.

NIKITA (O.S.):   
Why are you so smiley?

RUBY collapses onto the couch, shrugging, as NIKITA comes into frame.

RUBY:   
No reason.

NIKITA:   
Ooh, who are you texting?

RUBY:   
No one?

NIKITA sits down onto the couch next to RUBY and leans over to see her phone. RUBY holds it to her chest.

RUBY:   
Stop it!

NIKITA:  
Is it who you were with on Friday night?

A pause.

RUBY:   
What?

NIKITA:  
Aai and Baba might believe the whole "my phone is broken" thing, but I'm not stupid. You were with someone.

RUBY:   
I have no idea what you're talking about.

She's a bad liar right now, though, and she's failing miserably at hiding her smile. NIKITA all but screeches.

NIKITA:  
 _Name!_

RUBY:   
You're gonna stalk him on Instagram.

NIKITA:  
...yeah, that's like the whole point.

RUBY sighs, rolling her eyes, but she holds out the phone to NIKITA, who copies ELIAS'S name into her Instagram search. Her face contorts into an odd concentrated look as she looks at his Instagram.

NIKITA:   
His face isn't anywhere on this.

RUBY:   
Yeah, he doesn't post it.

NIKITA:   
So where the hell am I supposed to find it then?

RUBY:   
I don't know. That's your problem.

NIKITA groans, elbowing RUBY in the gut. RUBY laughs.

RUBY:   
Go look at Graciela's.

NIKITA types in GRACIELA'S username and looks through it as RUBY scrolls through her phone. After a moment, NIKITA looks up.

NIKITA:   
He's cute. I think.

RUBY:   
You _think?_

NIKITA:   
I mean, I'm not exactly attracted to the male specimen, so...

RUBY laughs again.

NIKITA:   
You should let me and Karthik meet him

RUBY:   
We've been together for less than a week, I don't need you scaring him off _already._

NIKITA:   
We wouldn't do that.

RUBY:   
...right.

NIKITA elbows her again, but before RUBY can retaliate, NIKITA'S phone starts buzzing. She checks the call.

NIKITA:   
Oh, shit, it's Aji. 

RUBY:   
Karthik's not here, is he?

NIKITA:   
No, thank god. She would've...I don't know, commented on his _lesbian ways_ or whatever.

RUBY:   
I'm never going to get over that.

NIKITA snorts and picks up the phone. On the screen INDU PATIL, an elderly Indian woman with a bindi, shows up. NIKITA and RUBY both wave at the screen.

NIKITA:   
Hi, Aji!

INDU:  
Are you busy?

NIKITA:   
No, we were just talking. About Ruby's new friend.

RUBY glares at NIKITA, who cackles.

INDU:  
Is she Indian?

RUBY:   
...no.

INDU:  
Aren't there any groups that you could join? With Indian children? You girls need more Indian friends.

RUBY:   
We've got enough friends, Aji, we're fine.

INDU:  
Hmm...

She squints at the camera.

INDU:  
Rubina, have you put on weight?

RUBY blinks, unable to react. NIKITA laughs nervously.

NIKITA:   
Aji.

INDU:  
Doesn't your mother have a good diet plan? One that she uses at work?

NIKITA:   
Aai doesn't do diets~~

INDU:  
You're growing up, Rubina, this is the time where you should be focusing on your body. People will notice these things.

NIKITA:   
Aji, you can't~~

Her voice fades out, being replaced by a buzzing noise of sorts. The room gets blurrier and shaky, and it's evident through RUBY'S eyes. She's snapped back to reality when NIKITA'S voice breaks through.

NIKITA:   
Ruby.

RUBY:   
What?

NIKITA:   
Aji wants to ask you about school.

RUBY:   
Um, well...

She plasters on a smile.

RUBY:   
I actually need to call someone, so...

NIKITA:   
Oh.

A beat.

NIKITA:   
Well, if you want to say bye~~

RUBY is already up the stairs before she can finish her sentence.

INT. BEDROOM

 _Sober_ resumes as RUBY enters her bedroom, shutting the door behind her and leaning against it. She takes out her phone and pulls up her messages with ELIAS, starting to type in "hey are you free now i rlly need to talk", but after a moment of staring at her screen she slowly deletes it and heads towards her bed, placing her phone on her nightstand.

She lies down on her bed and pulls the blankets up to her chin, her eyes wide open. After a moment, she closes her eyes and lets out a sigh as the camera cuts away.


	4. Halloweekend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! you! if you have the ability to vote blue, do it! don't bother with mail in ballots at this point, there's no telling when they'll get there. if you can vote in person, do it! if not, i think that there are ballot boxes that will get your ballot there on time, but i don't know those details. idk if it wasn't already clear but this is not a safe space for trump supporters :)) i doubt that there were that many of you in the first place though.  
> also tw for disassociation or a feeling very similar to that.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 29, 1:37 P.M.

INT. HALLWAY

The girls, minus GRACIELA, are sitting in the hallway in the midst of a conversation as teenagers pass around them.

JULIET:  
How old is she again? Thirteen?

HOLLY:  
Nah, she's a freshman, so she wants to go to a party really badly. She, like, thinks that just because she's in high school or something means that she can go and do whatever she wants.

JULIET:  
Mehdi's a freshman.

KARIMA rolls her eyes.

KARIMA:  
Mehdi doesn't even leave the house, there's no way he's gonna want to go to a party.

JULIET:  
He's my favorite.

KARIMA:  
Don't tell Hamzah that, he'll cry.

JULIET, KARIMA, and HOLLY all laugh, and RUBY smiles along. Slowly their voices fade out and are replaced with the same buzzing noise that she had heard with NIKITA, except this time the camera focuses fully on RUBY.

She stares at her hands, touching each individual finger to each other. She squints at them, almost like she can't believe they're really there. She slowly folds her hand into a fist and rests her arm across her stomach, looking down at it.

It's like she can't pull her eyes away from it. The expression on her face is concentrated and slightly upset.

HOLLy (O.S):  
[distant] Ruby.

HOLLY snaps her fingers in her face.

HOLLY:  
_Ruby._

RUBY looks up to see the girls, along with GRACIELA, who seems to have just arrived, staring at her.

RUBY:  
What?

KARIMA:  
Are you okay?

RUBY:  
Yeah?

GRACIELA:  
Really? Cause you were sort of just...not there for a moment.

RUBY:  
I'm fine.

JULIET:  
Are you sure?

RUBY looks suddenly very irritated~~but it's unclear why.

RUBY:  
I said I'm fine, _god._

JULIET shrugs as if to say "just checking", and GRACIELA very hesitantly sits down next to RUBY.

GRACIELA:  
Okay, well...I ran into Ciara in the library and she said that she's having a Halloween party tomorrow and that we should come. If you're interested.

JULIET:  
Hell yeah.

KARIMA:  
Halloween's on Saturday, why isn't she having it then?

GRACIELA:  
Well, it's more like Halloweekend this year. And I'd rather just stay home and watch movies on Saturday with you guys instead.

KARIMA:  
Jules, you've got a projector, we can use your place.

JULIET:  
Oh, um...my dad is still moving his things out, so...we probably don't want to hang out there.

HOLLY:  
Fuck, sorry.

JULIET:  
It's fine.

GRACIELA:  
I can probably hook one of your laptops up to my TV or something. But...the party? Yes or no?

HOLLY:  
Is it costumes?

GRACIELA:  
Yeah, I'm probably gonna go as Emma Chamberlain or something. 

JULIET snorts. RUBY shakes her head, looking down.

RUBY:  
I don't think I'm gonna come.

JULIET:  
Well, you said that last time and you still came.

RUBY:  
Yeah, but...I don't know. I'm not really up for a party.

HOLLY looks at her, almost like she's trying to look inside of her.

HOLLY:  
Ruby, are you _sure_ you're okay?

RUBY hesitates, wondering what to say~~and then smiles again.

RUBY:  
Yeah, I'm fine. Just...stressed out about the election, I guess.

KARIMA:  
God, don't remind me. I literally cried for an hour on Monday night.

RUBY:  
Same.

GRACIELA:  
How can a judge not know the first amendment? How the fuck does that even work?

JULIET:  
Girl, do you really think that _Trump_ knows the first amendment?

A beat.

GRACIELA:  
No.

HOLLY:  
But back to the party? I'm gonna freak out if we talk about this any more.

GRACIELA:  
No, but seriously, Ruby, you should come! It'll distract you from the election. To a point.

RUBY shakes her head.

RUBY:  
I don't know.

JULIET:  
But you've gotta see my Leia costume. I spent _two hours_ on that thing.

KARIMA:  
Seriously?

JULIET:  
Don't question it.

RUBY:  
I...

She hesitates again before finally giving in.

RUBY:  
Fine. Just for a little bit.

GRACIELA:  
_Yes!_

HOLLY:  
Ruby, seriously, if you're not feeling good enough to come...

RUBY smiles again, but it's forced.

RUBY:  
No, I'll be there.

JULIET:  
We're gonna have so much fun, okay? You'll forget all about the election.

KARIMA:  
...you sure about that?

JULIET:  
I hope so.

The girls laugh again, and GRACIELA moves her phone to show KARIMA something. They're all quiet again, comfortably so, but RUBY'S eyes are still focused elsewhere, almost drained.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> okay so a couple tws for this clip: there's a panic attack (of sorts?) at the beginning, that happens after graciela and karima's part. also the second half of the chapter is majorly a discussion about mental health, specifically bipolar disorder and the anxiety/depression that can come with an eating disorder.  
> disclaimer: i'm not claiming to be an expert on these subjects, but i do have a personal relation (??) with them. bipolar disorder is genetic in my family so i have several relatives that have it, and i myself have struggled/sort of still am struggling with disordered eating. so these are just my personal experiences. obviously everyone is different! but i sort of took mine and my family's experiences and put them into this clip.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 30, 7:21 P.M.

INT. BEDROOM

RUBY stands in front of her mirror, wearing green pants and a black turtleneck. She's meticulously brushing her hair, intently focused on it. After a moment, she picks up long star earrings and puts them in her ears before moving her hair out of her face and staring at her reflection.

She squints at herself, almost like her vision is wrong. She waits like that for a moment, almost hopeful for something to change, but nothing does. She sighs and picks up her lipstick, carefully applying it.

Something on the top of her mirror catches her eye~~a pink Post~it note that says "you don't have to struggle in silence".

She stares at it for a moment, the expression on her face bleak, and then looks away, fixing a smudge of her lipstick.

She fixes her hair one last time, adjusts her shirt, and then without even one glance back to the Post~it note, she turns towards the door and exits, shutting off the light as the screen cuts to black.

INT. FRONT ENTRANCE

 _Heart to Break_ by Kim Petras plays as RUBY tries to push her way through a crowd of screaming teenagers, looking for someone she knows. Her face is pale and she looks like she might be sick, but her expression relaxes slightly as she catches sight of GRACIELA and KARIMA and makes her way over to them.

GRACIELA:  
Ruby!

RUBY:  
Hey!

GRACIELA hugs her quickly.

GRACIELA:  
Who are you supposed to be?

RUBY shows off her boots.

RUBY:  
Kim Possible.

GRACIELA makes an "oh" face, and KARIMA laughs. RUBY stops for a moment, noticing the blonde wig atop KARIMA'S hijab.

RUBY:  
Are you supposed to be...?

KARIMA grins, flipping her hair.

KARIMA:  
Ivanka Trump?

RUBY'S mouth falls open slightly. 

RUBY:  
Oh my god.

GRACIELA:  
It's a power move.

RUBY laughs, and GRACIELA hands her a cup.

GRACIELA:  
We got you water.

RUBY:  
Thanks.

KARIMA:  
Hey, have you seen Frankie yet?

GRACIELA:  
No, why?

KARIMA:  
Nothing, he just owes me like ten bucks. I paid for his Sweetgreen in study group yesterday and he said that he was gonna get me my money today...

As they continue talking, RUBY begins to zone out, her eyes focusing elsewhere. She looks out into the crowd, trying to focus on someone.

As she takes a sip of her water, her eyes catch on ELIAS, who looks up at the same time that she looks at him. His face lights up, and she has to hide her smile in her cup before anyone else notices. Fortunately, GRACIELA and KARIMA are still talking.

ELIAS presses his lips together to keep from smiling too wide, and he raises his eyebrows. RUBY stifles a laugh. One of his friends elbows him, and he looks away as RUBY turns back to the girls.

KARIMA:  
And now she's acting weird all the time. And I know that things are weird with her parents, but...

GRACIELA:  
Maybe there's more to it than we think.

RUBY:  
Who, Juliet?

GRACIELA:  
You saw how she was acting yesterday, right?

RUBY:  
I mean, she's probably really stressed out about her parents...

A beat.

RUBY:  
But you're right, she's been acting kind of weird.

KARIMA:  
But it's not just yesterday. She's been drinking like crazy. Like, the other day I went to her house to work on our Spanish project and she literally opened the door with a beer.

GRACIELA:  
Isn't that kind of normal for her though?

KARIMA:  
Not really. Not since this year.

RUBY:  
Maybe we should talk to her about it?

KARIMA:  
No, she'll freak out.

She thinks for a moment.

KARIMA:  
Listen, I'll come up with something, okay? And then we can...I don't know, stage an intervention or something.

GRACIELA:  
Are you sure? I mean...maybe there's another way to help her.

KARIMA:  
I don't know. I'll try.

GRACIELA sighs and takes a sip of her drink as the three of them turn to look forward. Suddenly, GRACIELA'S eyes widen.

GRACIELA:  
Oh my god.

RUBY looks in her direction, her eyebrows shooting up. In front of them JULIAN is making out with CIARA, MADDIE standing behind them looking shocked. She turns to look at KARIMA, who looks equally surprised.

RUBY:  
Are they...?

GRACIELA:  
I don't think so...

KARIMA:  
God, I feel bad for her.

RUBY:  
Who, Ciara?

KARIMA:  
Both of them? I mean, he cheated on Ciara...and now he's cheating on Maddie...

GRACIELA:  
...he cheated on Ciara with Maddie and on Maddie with Ciara.

RUBY:  
Holy fuck.

GRACIELA:  
I'm not sober enough for this.

RUBY:  
Believe me, no one is.

They continue staring at JULIAN and CIARA, all equally disgusted, as the camera cuts away.

CUT TO: later. RUBY is standing alone against the wall, still holding her cup of water. She doesn't look like herself.

She checks her phone, looking for something to distract herself with, but she's got no notifications. She sighs and puts her phone away, looking back into the crowd, staring at the tons of teenagers.

Slowly the music fades out, replaced by the sound of her pounding heartbeat. She's hyperfocused on every movement, the camera making closeup shots of people drinking and dancing in the frame.

Her vision starts to spin, the people getting blurrier and going in circles. The camera pans back to her face, and she swallows, but it's tight. She tries to suck in a breath, but nothing comes in.

Her eyes widen slightly with fear as the camera pans back towards the spinning room.

The room stays moving for a moment before she's suddenly snapped out of it as someone crashes into her and she jerks her arm away.

HOLLY (O.S.):  
Fuck, sorry!

RUBY blinks, looking down at the pool of liquid on the floor. She looks back up to see HOLLY, dressed in a Luna Lovegood costume, staring at her worriedly. 

HOLLY:  
What happened?

RUBY:  
What?

HOLLY:  
You don’t look good. Are you feeling sick or something?

RUBY:  
What? No.

She blinks again, her vision finally clearing. She winces, her head pounding.

RUBY:  
I just have a headache.

HOLLY:  
You're literally shaking.

RUBY:  
What?

She looks down at her hands in front of her. They're trembling. 

RUBY:  
Oh, I...I don't know. I'm fine.

HOLLY:  
_God,_ Ruby, you're not.

RUBY:  
I don't know what you're talking about.

HOLLY:  
_Ruby._

RUBY:  
Will you all just leave me the fuck alone?

HOLLY reels back, shocked, and RUBY swallows.

HOLLY:  
[quieter] Ruby.

RUBY:  
I...I have to go.

HOLLY:  
I know that you're stressed right now and I think that~~

RUBY:  
_I have to go._

HOLLY:  
Ruby, just wait a second~~

RUBY is already pushing her way through the crowd, her head spinning. Her eyes are shiny, her face red, and as she makes it to the door and pulls her jacket on, she blinks. A tear rolls down her cheek before she all but runs out the door.

EXT. PARK

RUBY is sitting on a bench, her jacket pulled tightly around her, her hair pulled up. She looks like she's been crying. After a moment, her phone buzzes, and she wipes her face as she picks it up.

It's a message from ELIAS saying "hey are you okay?". She draws in a breath as she types back "fine, why?".

She instantly gets a response that says "i was with graciela and holly came up to us saying that you didn't look good and then freaked out or something on her and then left". He follows up with "so i thought that someone should check on you".

She presses her lips together and tries to type something back but can't come up with anything to say. ELIAS waits for a moment, then types back "if you want me to".

She sits there for a moment, thinking, and then sends him her location pin. He sends her a thumbs up, and she shuts her phone off, lowering her head into her hands.

CUT TO: a bit later. RUBY is still on the bench, barely having moved, when something draws her attention. She looks upwards to see ELIAS standing in front of her, looking hesitant.

ELIAS:  
Hey.

RUBY takes a deep breath and then forces a smile.

RUBY:  
Hi.

ELIAS:  
Can I...

He points towards the bench. RUBY nods, and he slowly sits down next to her.

They sit in silence for a moment until RUBY speaks, still not looking up.

RUBY:  
You didn't have to come, I'm fine.

ELIAS:  
Ruby.

She doesn't respond to that. ELIAS waits for a moment before speaking.

ELIAS:  
What's wrong?

RUBY sighs.

RUBY:  
I don't...

She tries to put it into words, struggling a bit.

RUBY:  
I don't know what happened. I just...there were a lot of people there.

ELIAS nods in understanding. When RUBY speaks again, her voice is small.

RUBY:  
I just didn't want to be there anymore.

She's quiet again, brushing her hair out of her face. ELIAS sets a hand on her knee.

ELIAS:  
[gently] You didn't need to come.

RUBY:  
No, I did.

ELIAS:  
Why?

RUBY:  
Because...I don't know, I don't want people asking questions. I don't know how to talk about this. It's like...it wasn't this bad last year. Like, I could come to parties and not freak the fuck out like this, but now all I wanna do is go home and sleep for the rest of my life.

She pauses, knowing how that sounds.

RUBY:  
I didn't mean it like that.

ELIAS:  
No, I get it.

They're silent for a moment.

ELIAS:  
Do you want to talk about it?

RUBY:  
Not really.

ELIAS:  
Are you sure?

RUBY:  
[irritated] It's not like you talk about yourself anyways.

ELIAS goes quiet, and RUBY closes her eyes, mentally cursing herself.

RUBY:  
That was so shitty of me, I'm sorry.

ELIAS:  
Do you want me to talk about myself?

RUBY:  
I mean, if you're not comfortable with it...

ELIAS:  
I am.

A beat.

ELIAS:  
I mean, I'm trying to be.

He thinks for a moment.

ELIAS:  
I don't really know how to explain it.

RUBY:  
Seriously, if...

ELIAS:  
No, I mean, I'm pretty sure it's good for me to talk about it, so...

He swallows.

ELIAS:  
Yeah. So. Last year, um, right around the time you moved here, actually, I was sort of not doing so great, I guess. I mean, there were these weeks where I would be feeling great, but really...I mean, I don't really know the details of it all, but I would...I don't know. I wasn't sleeping. Like, once I was awake for three days straight once. And I thought that I could do anything. Like, literally anything at all, and I didn't think that there would be any consequences. So I would do all of these things that I would never actually do, but I thought that I was being completely normal, so there was that part.

He shrugs. RUBY'S eyebrows are creased, like she's trying to figure him out.

ELIAS:  
And then there were other times where I would just...crash. Like, I was so tired all the time, but I couldn't sleep. And I felt like shit. I couldn't focus on anything, I couldn't do my work, my grades were all over the place, and literally nothing would make me happy. And I would just stay in bed all day and not sleep. And like...I mean, I never actually tried anything, but one time I guess it all got to be a lot, and it was kind of like...like I was planning to...you know, and I don't really remember any of this happening but I wasn't talking to anyone and I wasn't going to school and and then I started sending people all of these thank yous and my aunt freaked out and brought me to the hospital. And then I was there for some time before I got a diagnosis. So...I guess that's it?

RUBY:  
So you're...

ELIAS:  
Bipolar. Yeah.

RUBY:  
And no one noticed anything before...that?

ELIAS:  
Well, my mom's dead, so...

RUBY hesitates for a moment, so ELIAS fills the silence.

ELIAS:  
I was ten. Breast cancer.

RUBY:  
Fuck, I'm sorry.

ELIAS:  
It's okay.

Silence. ELIAS looks nervous.

ELIAS:  
Are you going to say something?

RUBY:  
Do you want me to say something?

ELIAS:  
I don't know. Maybe.

RUBY:  
So...with Holly, was that...

ELIAS:  
Nah, that was just me feeling bad in general. Like, my meds were fucked up, I had to get them switched anyways, and I had just started therapy, which was honestly taking more out of me than it was giving back. And then I got drunk, which was a dumb fucking idea, because I'm not even supposed to drink on my meds. So there was a lot going on. But I explained everything to her. I don't know if she told you that.

RUBY:  
She did, but she didn't say why.

ELIAS:  
Yeah, she said that she wouldn't. I mean, it was an explanation, not an excuse. I'm still trying to make it up to her, even though it's kind of hard, but...yeah.

A beat. RUBY thinks for a moment.

RUBY:  
Are you okay?

ELIAS:  
Like, in general?

RUBY:  
I guess so.

ELIAS:  
I mean...yeah. I think so. I mean, I'm never going to be perfect, but I'm not sure how much closer I can get right now.

RUBY:  
Yeah, I get that.

They're quiet for another moment. ELIAS taps his fingers together, looking for something to do with them.

ELIAS:  
So...yeah. That's it, I guess. Then there's the whole thing with my brother, but I'd rather not talk about that right now.

RUBY:  
[gently] You don't have to.

ELIAS:  
I know that it can be a lot.

RUBY:  
Elias.

He looks up slightly, nervous.

RUBY:  
It's okay. 

ELIAS:  
Yeah, I know, I just...

He shrugs.

ELIAS:  
I don't really tell people because I know that they'll freak out.

RUBY:  
Fuck them.

ELIAS laughs slightly, and RUBY smiles.

RUBY:  
No, seriously! All that matters is that you're okay.

ELIAS blinks, like he doesn't fully understand that. His eyes are shiny. He swallows.

ELIAS:  
Okay, um, your turn.

RUBY:  
Um...

RUBY thinks for a moment.

RUBY:  
Well, my parents both work a lot. I mean, my dad's some sort of healthcare engineer, and my mom's a nutritionist, so I don't really see them until, like, seven thirty earliest. Which isn't a big deal most of the time, but now...

She pauses.

RUBY:  
I don't know, it's like...I'm so stressed out, you know? Like, SATs are coming up, and I've got all of this work that I have to do, and I'm trying so hard to be perfect, but it never works. And sometimes I need advice, because my parents have always seemed perfect. I mean, love story, college, jobs, all of it. But it's like no matter what I do I'm not good enough for anyone. And I can't do anything about it.

A beat.

ELIAS:  
Good enough for other people? Or good enough for yourself?

RUBY laughs bitterly.

RUBY:  
Isn't that the same thing?

ELIAS shrugs.

RUBY:  
I don't know. I've just been so fucking overwhelmed all the time. And it's like everyone hates me right now. I mean, I keep on freaking out on my friends, and they can tell that something's wrong, but I can't tell them. And I've been a bitch to my siblings and I haven't had an actual conversation with my parents in weeks and I've got all these people from my old school who _hate_ me and I completely flipped out on my grandma when she told me that I was gaining weight, as if I don't think about that all the damn time. And it’s like...everyone is telling me to calm down, but they don't know what it's like to never feel like you’re enough.

ELIAS is quiet for a moment.

ELIAS:  
I don't get how.

RUBY:  
It doesn't make that much sense to me either.

ELIAS:  
No, I meant~~well, that too, because you're more than enough, but...I don't get how anyone could ever hate you.

RUBY closes her eyes. When she opens them again, she's crying.

RUBY:  
There was just...this one girl. Who told people things that weren't true.

ELIAS:  
Okay, well, fuck her too.

RUBY laughs, but it comes out sounding more like a sob. ELIAS slips an arm around her shoulders.

RUBY:  
I hate it here. I just want to leave.

ELIAS:  
It could be worse. You could be in...I don’t know, fucking Kansas or something.

RUBY stares at him incredulously.

RUBY:  
How the hell do you come up with these things?

ELIAS snorts, and RUBY smiles slightly. She leans her head onto his shoulder.

After a moment, ELIAS'S phone buzzes. He picks it up and checks it before rolling his eyes and putting it away.

RUBY:  
Who was it?

ELIAS:  
Julian. He let me use his car and now he wants it back.

RUBY:  
You have your license?

ELIAS:  
Do you not?

RUBY:  
My birthday's in June, I'm not even old enough yet.

ELIAS laughs.

ELIAS:  
I turn seventeen in February, so...

RUBY:  
Why does he need his car right now?

ELIAS shrugs.

ELIAS:  
He just wants to go fight again. So I guess if I have his car he can't go anywhere.

RUBY:  
They're still doing that?

ELIAS:  
They're not gonna stop. But he's the one putting himself in that position, so I can't stop him. It's only an issue for me if they start coming after someone else.

RUBY:  
Is that going to happen?

ELIAS thinks for a moment.

ELIAS:  
...yeah. Probably.

RUBY:  
Shit.

ELIAS:  
But probably not for a while, so, you know. I wouldn't worry about that

RUBY:  
Okay, well, don't do anything stupid.

ELIAS:  
I'll try not to.

RUBY laughs, ultimately satisfied, and ELIAS smiles too.

The camera pans towards their backs, facing outward towards the night sky, before cutting away.

_CUT TO BLACK_

_CUT TO END CREDITS_

**Author's Note:**

> hmu on tumblr @iamaconcretewall


End file.
